I enjoyed this and I would like to see another chapter! You did a nice job of explaining and putting in detail without losing track, and your writing wasn't rushed. It was an interesting storyline that I really enjoyed reading about also. I'd like to see how you expand on this if you decide to write another chapter, I'd like to see how it progresses. My only suggestion is better spacing and dialogue spacing out. Maybe edit it or look it over. There wasn't any huge errors, just maybe a small mistake here or there. Hope this helps you out!